When one of my rock ‘n’ roll friends – think bags of style, charisma, wit and is always up for an adventure – and a particular boyfriend broke up, he told her she wasn’t rock ‘n’ roll enough for him. My friend has since discovered that the ex says that during every relationship break-up. Mark recently let me know that a friend of his accused him of only dating younger women and being too irresponsible to have kids. When I first met one of my now-ex boyfriends, he described his ex as a ‘psycho’.
My friend’s ex is a corporate guy and frustrated musician. Mark’s friend is a single mother. Perhaps her ex left her for a younger woman… When my ex and I broke up, he cut up my clothes. I expect he’s telling his current squeeze that I’m a psycho…
Most of us have experienced someone projecting their own insecurities onto us. Or experienced someone’s anger, often motivated by a desire not to experience guilt – and beyond this, feelings of hurt and fear. It’s difficult not to react to anger with anger. And so the cycle continues…
Nearly a year after my break-up and the ex is still behaving in an ungentlemanly fashion. I walked past a chalkboard outside a pub after discovering the latest incident of this. ‘Be kind to unkind people. They need it the most,’ was scrawled on it. A little too much to ask in this situation, I thought; I wanted revenge. ‘The best revenge is to be successful and happy,’ a good friend said. And as director Ang Lee once said, ‘Sometimes you have to get angry to get things done.’ Perhaps I should avoid the rock ‘n’ roll boys, too.
