I particularly enjoyed my male friends’ Facebook posts in celebration of International Women’s Day, which included, ‘Always preferred women to men, to be honest… Happy International Women’s Day to all the women who brighten up my world,’ Orlando Hamilton; and from Mark, ‘Women! Stay in the kitchen; cook dinner and do the laundry; accept lower pay; act demurely and know your limits. Don’t pursue careers because you are women and it’s scientifically proven your brains are smaller and you’ll only want to talk about cats, shoes and babies anyway; then cry… F**k that! Happy #womensday everyone. Still (sadly) a long way to go.’
The vocal male support reminded me of one of Dorothy Parker’s great quotes, ‘I cannot be fair about books that treat women as women. My idea is that all of us, men as well as women, whoever we are, should be considered as human beings.’
It also sparked a discussion between Ruth (whose husband earns less than her) and I about how men also lose in an unequal world. ‘I’d hate to be a man,’ I admitted. ‘Imagine not being able to offload and share life’s problems over a glass of wine with a good friend.’
‘And that’s on top of the additional pressures of career and finances. Women may feel reduced and lose confidence if they choose to be a stay-at-home mum because the things they do aren’t valued by society. But I wonder how a stay-at-home dad feels!’ Ruth said, adding, ‘And imagine being a man who wants to work as a nurse…’
Her final comment made me realise how far we still have to go before we celebrate International People’s Day – my own attitude needs changing. I wouldn’t want to date a nurse, or a guy who earns less than me. I want a man to be chivalrous, and who knows what he wants. When I called off a recent date, he wanted to know why. ‘I like being with someone who is completely sure he wants me. I like being swept off my feet even though that usually means trouble,’ I admitted, and humoured him by alluding to my past. ‘Such as rich control freaks, who end up stalking me or cutting up my clothes.’
Women’s skewed relationship ideals are perhaps reflected in the success of 50 Shades of Grey. Despite being derided for its sexism (among many other things), the film broke box office records, becoming Universal’s highest grossing R-rated film ever.
