‘Bad manners are really just a passive-aggressive form of bullying,’ Sharleen Spiteri, lead singer of Texas, recently said in an interview with The Sunday Times. I thought it rather apt, having recently been the recipient of bad manners (and the date in question had admitted to being bullied at boarding school).
With ever-changing conventions; a lack of consensus on etiquette, particularly in our international world; and an emerging sound bite culture, it is perhaps no wonder that we’re all a little confused about the rules on good manners in modern times (think Myleene Klass’ recent spat over children’s birthday presents).
So here are my top 5 etiquette rules for 2015:
- Texting, ‘Hey, I’m running 20 minutes late/I have to cancel – my boss is in town,’ is not as acceptable as making the effort to be on time, apologising for unforeseen circumstances and giving as much notice as possible.
- Put away that phone at a dinner party. Be in the moment, prove you have social skills and save your relationship. If the phone takes up precious bedroom time, you know you’re in trouble.
- Keep personal conversations and grievances off social networking sites. And bear in mind how easily e-gossip can be forwarded to the wrong person (I still cringe at my worst work moment).
- Don’t show up at a party empty-handed. Bring a bottle, dessert or some flowers. Also, don’t RSVP an event and not show; RSVP at the last minute; treat not RSVPing as the same as declining if it’s a formal invitation.
- I could list another 10 etiquette rules on table manners, kids parties and respecting others’ space but what etiquette really comes down to is simple: treat others as you wish to be treated.
‘Etiquette is all human social behavior. If you’re a hermit on a mountain, you don’t have to worry about etiquette; if somebody comes up the mountain, then you’ve got a problem. It matters because we want to live in reasonably harmonious communities,’ said author Judith Martin.
