‘He seems a total time-waster, and that is so unfair on you. I am currently on a walk of shame (actually I’m in a cab). Nothing worth shouting about, but did not do anything too shameful either…’ It sounded like Plan B had had a better night than me. Plan B had already forewarned me, saying TV Presenter sounded like ‘such a sex avoider’.
TV Presenter had picked me up at 6.30pm in time for a drink at his before heading to a local restaurant he’d booked. By the time he’d driven to the end of my street he’d already mentioned two women – a friend (whom he’d previously snogged. I know because he told me later that evening) and his ex wife (who regrets her current marriage. He told me that, too). When we arrived at the restaurant the waitress asked if I was Sophie (another friend of TV Presenter’s). I was in a cab home calling a friend with the sorry tale of my evening before 11pm. As I got out of the cab, the driver said: ‘You’ll meet someone better.’
So, this is how to spot a time-waster with a very fragile ego:
- He has more female than male friends, but he doesn’t know his Mulberry from his Marc Jacobs. In fact, he supports a football team and is regularly invited to lock-ins at his local pub.
- His female friends consist of exes, women he’s snogged, women he doesn’t fancy but who fancy him and women in rubbish relationships. Most of them are 20 years his junior or are minor celebrities (in which case he refers to them by their full name).
- His new male friends consist of gay couples and fans he met in his local pub (TV Presenter met one of his friends in the pub loo. The friend introduced himself by saying, ‘You’re that guy off the telly.’ Yes, he told me that, too).
- His old male friends have moved away or are celebrity fair weather friends.
- He tells you how abused he was in his last relationship. He’s not ready for another relationship but he organises a date with you, insists on paying and makes the first move for a kiss. At other times he stands you up or chats up other women in front of you.
- The women he chats up are usually waiting staff. These women are an easy target; they can’t escape and it’s their job to be polite.
- He tells you he got a girl’s phone number (TV Presenter admitted he thinks he does this to prove he still can).
- He says he doesn’t want to hurt you.
- He reads out a tweet about himself from a celeb spotter. It is seven hours old.
- He reads this blog and likes the fact that it’s dedicated to him.
