West London Girl

When guys matchmake


‘I told the homeless group I have a friend who loves getting her hands dirty’

‘I want to introduce you to a decent guy before I move back to Scotland,’ Al said during dinner at my local pan-Asian. I was a little squiffy from my second glass of riesling so I readily agreed without asking more than three very basic questions (age, workplace and nationality). Al did the modern thing and introduced us via Whatsapp. The next day my decent date, Craig, sent me a Facebook invite before messaging me, ‘We can always delete each other afterwards if we find each other completely abhorrent.’

There were a number of photos of camping parties; pints of beer featured heavily. The Lawyer, who liked camping (and dumped me while pointing out our differences), sprung to mind. But it was too late to back out…

During G&Ts at Lotti’s bar, Craig told me that he was volunteering for a homeless charity. I told him the story about how I thought Hot Danish had made me ill after paying a couple of homeless people to take out his rubbish.

It was a fun evening; we both knew we were too different to date yet there wasn’t any awkwardness.

Craig messaged a couple of days later, ‘I told the homeless group I have a friend who loves getting her hands dirty and has offered to take a few of them away camping for the weekend. She will even wash their skanky feet by hand at the end of each day. Expect a call from them…’

‘Let me know when you’re back for a visit,’ I messaged Al the evening before his flight home. ‘Wouldn’t like you to think I’d replaced you with Craig so quickly!’
‘Ha – I looked after you there alright,’ Al replied.

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