I caught up with Liz and Natasha over a few watermelon martinis at Eclipse recently. I admitted how appallingly I’d behaved with Hot Danish because he had to take work home with him at the weekend – my excuse is that it was my time of the month. ‘You always work. All I do is cook crap meals for you,’ I ranted. ‘You promised to have sex with me last night.’ Then I complained that he put his friends before me, too. I was being ridiculous – he’d barely seen his friends for the last few months. Unsurprisingly he is planning on going away next month for the weekend when I’m on.

The only thing I had been accurate about was my cooking: the previous evening I had nearly killed him. The usual chillies I bought from Waitrose had sold out so I bought some tiny ones packed with seeds. HD ate half the fajitas and most of a tub of ice-cream before passing out in bed.

I laughed about it with Liz and Natasha but during the weekend I hadn’t realised how unreasonable I’d been. Liz understood. ‘Every month I tell John it’s over,’ she said. ‘At the time I really believe it, too.’ Liz’s boyfriend, John, is in the middle of a major deal and she has also been finding his long hours hard to deal with. ‘He didn’t come home before midnight three evenings last week,’ she said. ‘He was rubbing his eyes during dinner all week and looking forward to bed but I think it was more for sleep than anything else although he continued to make an effort. On Thursday I couldn’t relax, knowing how tired he was. After about 20 minutes he surfaced, looking worn out, and said, “I want you to come.” After another five minutes he complained his hands hurt.’
‘Jees – these men are such perfectionists. Better than not trying, though,’ Natasha empathised.

Natasha has experienced extreme pressure – seven hours to be approximate – at the hands (or should I say mouth) of Jean-Claude. ‘And after John has made me come he asks whether or not I’m faking it,’ Liz added.
‘I wish I had done that with Jean-Claude and Jacques so I could have got some sleep,’ Natasha said.