Monique’s books were rejected by her local charity shop. No one wants Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus and their ilk these days apparently. Her books sat forlornly on the top of a table in her hallway. After dinner she gave me a parting gift. ‘Oh, thanks. They’ll come in handy whenever I need a seat on the tube,’ I joked. Within days, my copy of Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus had been snapped up by a friend, so only Mars And Venus In The Bedroom remained.

While I was in Copenhagen for the weekend with Hot Danish, Natasha stayed at mine and discovered the guide to romance and passion. ‘I have something to admit,’ she said when we caught up over the phone. ‘I got quite turned on by that book.’
‘God, it must have been a long time,’ I laughed.

I met some of HD’s friends during our weekend away and after a few drinks the conversation turned to relationships. ‘My girlfriend always complains I don’t say I love her enough,’ one friend said. ‘The other day she slapped me in the face and a group of Turkish guys came over to protect her, thinking I’d given the slap.’
‘My girlfriend hit me over the head with a lamp the other night,’ another friend admitted. ‘I’ve bought Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus to help our relationship.’

When we returned to our hotel room, HD said his friends must have been joking. ‘It’s too embarrassing to make up,’ I replied.

The other morning I found HD flicking through the book which had turned Natasha on. A list of 10 sexual turn-offs such as saying, ‘Ouch! That hurts’ and ‘What are you doing?’ gave him some amusement. Of course it’s easy to feel a little smug in the heady early days of a relationship, but I might hang on to the book in an attempt to avoid HD contributing to an embarrassing conversation about relationship problems with his friends at a later date.