‘You’re looking a bit ‘80s,’ Liz’s new man observed, rather bluntly. He wasn’t referring to her skin-tight pants, but to what was underneath – her neat Brazilian look.
‘What would he have preferred?’ I quizzed Liz.
‘A Hollywood,’ she replied nonchalantly. Apparently he wasn’t the only one; it seems other ladies’ men regularly request the porn star look irrespective of age or nationality. I suddenly felt ‘80s, too; I’d presumed most men prefer ‘trimmed and tidy’. Then I discovered that Liz’s none-too-young boyf did not, at least, have double standards; he sported a plucked peen.

He clearly wasn’t the only one. ‘It’s to make them look bigger. I blame the trend for naked selfies,’ Kate revealed. ‘I don’t see how a d**k pic is sexy,’ she added.

Kate works as a beauty therapist so she knows a thing or two about hair fashion. ‘The women who choose the “all-off” suffer from turkey skin, pocks, red spots and in-grown hairs,’ she warned.

Kate is also a feminist. ‘I’m taking a political stance by not going bald. I’ve read Pornified: How Pornography Is Transforming Our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families, by Pamela Paul; and Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture, by Ariel Levy,’ she added.

I’ve decided that ‘landscape trends’ would make a fun topic at the next book/booze club. After all, as the artist David Hockney once said, ‘Enjoyment of the landscape is a thrill.’