‘The good news is that I can get a divorce through Tesco for £65,’ my friend said after announcing her separation. ‘It has cost me £50 per date,’ another girlfriend said, referring to her only date since paying her subscription fee to eHarmony. It was still a better deal than the amount Plan B spent on two failed dates.

Plan B received a wedding invite from his friend: he was finally going to marry his girlfriend after a decade of togetherness. ‘I see she has finally twisted his arm,’ Plan B said. ‘He could never see the point of marriage.’
‘Perhaps that’s because he’s dull and unromantic,’ I replied. Perhaps wanting to protect his trust fund has something to do with his lack of eagerness, too.

Plan B admired his friend’s entrepreneurship though: he is making money from hiring out the marquee he bought in plenty of time for his summer wedding. I joked that Hot Danish would have me organise press trips for our honeymoon. When I relayed that to HD he responded with rather too much enthusiasm.

Natasha, who is working on a temporary project since her previous contract ran out (she jokes that her salary has decreased annually since 2010), was given a middle-aged manager’s login details. His passwords were ‘teddybear’ and ‘honeymoon.’ He keeps pictures of his summer 2012 honeymoon on his desk and talks animatedly about his wedding, regaling colleagues with highlights of the best man speech whenever he gets the chance. He is on his second marriage: perhaps proof that all that’s really important is to love… Even if we make fools of ourselves.