Following my January tradition of drinking more (to start the year productively), my first week included two dates and an evening of whisky tasting with a gun-toting, bling-wearing, tattooed professional power lifter and his friend from Texas.
The first date, a 20-something banker, struggled to stay awake. I’d like to think it was down to his grueling work hours rather than my company. In either case, I thought I should be better prepared for my date with Eric, a Scandinavian.
To get the conversation going, I asked Eric some fun lifestyle journalist-type questions. These revealed that he has a daughter (not mentioned in his Inner Circle profile). Naturally nosy, I asked if he wanted more kids. ‘I wouldn’t rule it out, but I would like to have a say in the matter,’ he replied carefully. A few days later he sent me a link to an article, which included a long, serious list of ‘probing’ questions aimed at accelerating intimacy between strangers.
Which means he probably thinks that I’m desperate to find someone and have kids NOW. I am a 30-something after all. But it’s probably preferable to coming across as hard.
So here are my top 5 questions to break the ice on a first date (warning: may break the chance of a second date):
- Where’s your ‘hood and why?
Does he like being part of a community or apart from it? - What’s your most memorable meal?
I should probably have asked the Lawyer this question. He ‘cooked’ me Tesco’s ready-made cannelloni and shortly afterwards dropped me with, ‘I’m not going to jump through hoops for you.’ - If your pad was burning down, what three things would you save (other than people and pets)?
Note that, ‘hmm, I can’t think of anything’ could either mean he values relationships and experiences over material things or a burglar would leave empty handed. - What’s your proudest moment so far?
‘Having kids’ is a cop-out answer. A moment which made the kids proud isn’t. - What’s your philosophy on life?
Finding out early on ensures one way of avoiding the couples therapist further down the line.
Meanwhile, Power Lifter is sending me daily updates from Texas, including numerous selfies, videos of his gym sessions and travels, plus photos of cigars, pints, protein drinks and his Louis Vuitton luggage. Enough already!
