Survival Fitness: Can You Outrun a Zombie?

The character Columbus in Zombieland (2009) states that cardio is the number one most important consideration in the post-apocalypse, not because you’ll be running sprints against the undead but because zombies seem to have an inexplicable amount of stamina for chasing after their dinner. With fitness apps out there like Zombies, Run!, it’s pretty clear that the shambling hordes are at least somebody’s reason for getting in shape.

Climate Change

Preparing for an ‘end’ of some description was last decade’s breakout reality theme, largely because of National Geographic’s series Doomsday Preppers (2011) and big-budget movies such as 2012, Geostorm, San Andreas, and Pompeii. These often-ridiculous dramas seemed to reinforce the public’s growing fears about a cataclysm, whether it arrived via climate change, recession, or marauding aliens.

At the low end of the prepper spectrum, preparation often takes the form of a go-bag. This is a pack of supplies that are designed to help the owner survive for up to 72 hours. Think of it like an advanced first-aid kit. In general, a go-bag will contain food and water, a radio, a flashlight, spare batteries, and local maps, among other things. Important documents should also be included, either as scans or originals.

Expanding on this idea, tech site ExpressVPN created its own tech survival kit, which doubles as a salve for electronic strife and as an emergency rescue kit. To these ends, it contains a satellite phone, portable WiFi hotspot, a screwdriver kit and pocket knife, and all the cables it requires to run all these pieces of hardware. The contents of a tech survival kit should be stored in a waterproof pouch.

Survival Fitness

Of course, the state of your health and fitness is going to make a difference in how long you can last out in the nuclear wastes, in much the same way as it does out in London. Mercifully, the concept of survival fitness isn’t about military training drills but, rather, making sure that you’re not at risk of critical ailments, like heart disease and stroke, and can run and climb to a basic standard.

For example, a guide made by ThePrepared stresses that survivors should be able to jog a mile over natural terrain and climb over an obstacle not much larger than a single bed. Taking your go-bag on these short trips can help boost muscle strength and add a bit of realism to your hypothetical plight. Alternatively, lifting large water jugs – the ones you’ll need to carry to survive – at home can serve as a surrogate for gym work.

Survival fitness can be thought of as a part-roleplay, part-fitness regime, which arguably makes it easier to approach than many other workout routines. Of course, it’s entirely possible to scale up (or down) your workout to suit your own goals. Just remember that, in the zombie apocalypse, something that the US and UK governments have a plan for, stamina is king. The chances of it actually happening are almost zero, though.

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