‘You will soon be blacklisted from every gym in Amsterdam,’ Hot Danish said. Natasha and I are trialling gyms in our neighbourhood with a view to join one. There was the €3,300 per year near-empty hotel gym which hadn’t updated its timetable online so we had to trial it twice because we really wanted to see what their classes are like; the other hotel gym whose spinning class instructor cancelled (ditto; we tried the gym facilities during the first visit; a class on the second); and the gym whose class instructor was clearly on drugs (we didn’t give that one another chance).

There was one we liked despite the fact that we couldn’t follow the simplest move during our ‘80s aerobics-style ‘bodyshape’ class. Natasha asked our consultant to email over the membership options. ‘Hmm, it’s rather pricy,’ she said. ‘Let’s wait a few days and see if he follows up with a better offer.’
‘Good idea. We can also ask if they have a “couples” discount especially as he assumed we were living together.’

Hot Danish thinks this is a sign that we are adjusting to the Dutch sense of frugality. He is also helping me seek compensation for my impounded passport fiasco. ‘Your entire weekend was ruined plus you lost three days of your holiday allowance. You need to claim back all the indirect costs, too,’ he said firmly. He offered to review my letter.

The Dutch are often mocked for being money conscious and offering to ‘go Dutch’ on a date. However, Dutch women are known for enjoying financial independence. ‘It makes it difficult for Dutch men to know how to treat women,’ an Italian diplomat said at a recent wedding. ‘Dutch women can misconstrue gentlemanliness for an attempt at being controlling. Both sexes are struggling to find the right balance.’
‘And the Dutch will say that Italians cheat on their women,’ I responded.
‘That is true,’ he agreed. ‘Dutch men make good husbands.’

I caught up with Kate over Skype. Her brother, Steve, had a new girlfriend. ‘You know his ex, Anita, was suspicious of him seeing someone at work… Steve is now going out with the suspected work colleague,’ she said. ‘Every time anyone sees Anita she starts welling up.’

‘Poor Anita,’ I said. ‘They were together for five years – I thought they would marry.’
‘Steve said he was broke for five years and now he finally has some money and freedom. When I asked him to clarify he admitted that Anita had asked him to put all his money into her personal account.’
‘Poor Anita,’ I repeated. Perhaps she tried to claim too much of Steve which ended up costing her dearly.