Sometimes Hot Danish likes to give himself a pat on the back. During our return train journey from his grandmother’s, passing fields of grazing cows and sheep, he said; ‘I haven’t introduced any other girl to my grandmother. Aren’t I sweet?’ I wasn’t impressed.
‘Well you’re the first guy to meet my father,’ I replied.
‘I don’t believe you.’
‘I only met him a couple of years ago.’ HD looked a little deflated. ‘I’d like to suggest that if/when you propose, don’t say I’m the first girl you’ve proposed to so I’m reminded of your past and think that you’re letting me know that I’m lucky you picked me among all the other girls throwing themselves at your feet.’
‘I meant that you’re special to me,’ he said.

Grandmothers were born before the era of political correctness, but they’ve also known hardship, so they’re generally tough cookies. I remember my own managing to say something completely un-PC about black people (when my black friend Kate was staying with us at Christmas); Kate’s grandmother said something about Jews (it’s been pointed out that, being blonde, only other Jews notice I’m Jewish); Harry’s grandmother mentioned social class (I thought she might find it more palatable to hear that my parents are divorced rather than I’m a bastard child and my father has four children with three different women) and another grandmother commented at her granddaughter’s lesbian wedding, ‘I just don’t understand it because I’ve always liked men. I think it is such a waste’.

Natasha’s friend Emily recently joined her for a weekend at her parents’ Gloucestershire home. ‘My parents love having visitors and feel the need to entertain, which can get rather embarrassing,’ Natasha said. ‘My father asked Emily if she is a city hotshot and if her boyfriend is good looking!’ The following morning Natasha’s father had left Emily a note saying how pleased he was to have her stay and that he hoped the girls had behaved themselves during their night out. Luckily Natasha found it first and destroyed it. Often communication requires a little open-mindedness on the part of the recipient, but at other times it just needs interception…