There are some good reasons for deleting your Facebook: You get to keep your personal life private and you get to keep your real friendships more intimate. I recently had a Facebook request from someone I hadn’t seen for over 10 years. It took a moment to place him. I soon got an update from him – he’d Googled me (yes, he admitted it), he had been married for over 10 years (that includes the time when he made a lunge for me then), he now owned half an estate agent and he asked me to call him (on his direct line) the next time I was in the area. ‘I’ve got to go now. I’ve got people standing over my desk xxx,’ he typed hurriedly on Facebook Messenger.
That evening Natasha had planned to meet up with someone she went out with for two months when she was 18. ‘I’ve tried to delay catching up with him for two years,’ she said.
‘Two years!’ I laughed.
‘He’s actually persevered for 15 years but in his defense it’s only occasional contact and he is a caring guy.’ This guy is a high-level law enforcer, who had initially contacted Natasha on Facebook asking if she fancied a beer if he could sneak out of work. Also married.
Natasha was more concerned that she was falling for her ex again. ‘He has been so considerate. He always takes me to my favourite restaurant, sources in-season vegetables to cook with when I’m ill and came to the rescue when my gran needed taking to the hospital. But at other times he annoys and embarrasses me.’ It sounded like a normal relationship to me. ‘Am I in denial of being in love or am I just bored?,’ she added.
‘Hmm, it’s always difficult to know… The person we’re crazy about one moment can also annoy the pants off us at other times,’ I replied. ‘If you don’t want to have sex with him then I wouldn’t worry about it. It makes things complicated if you do, though and, in my experience, going without sex for too long makes me fancy anyone I spend time with.’ Fortunately Natasha only felt like hugging her ex.
And how was her catch-up with her Facebook friend? ‘We laughed a lot about old times and I realised I was quite mean in those days,’ she said.
