I recently stumbled across a blog about annoying things to say to a single person (something I’ve previously written about, too). It made me think of the things I hear as a Brit abroad… The good thing about being a Brit abroad is that people want to talk about your experiences. The bad news? People will have opinions on how well you’re adapting/integrating. Some of these opinions may only apply to expats living in Amsterdam…

1. ‘Do you cycle?’
   I haven’t cycled since I was a kid. Now it’s terrifying and it’s not even winter yet…
2. ‘Do you speak the language yet?’
   Kleine beetje. In truth, I can’t even pronounce my street name properly. We might say that the language is ugly or we can’t learn because everyone replies to us in English but actually we’re secretly relieved that we can get away with being this lazy.
3. ‘Have you made any [insert demonym] friends?’
   I work in a small company, all five of whom are expats; I was introduced to expats through friends back home; expats have introduced me to other expats.
4. ‘Perhaps you’d make more local friends if you spoke the language…’
   Yes, I could make friends with the Albert Heijn [or alternative name of supermarket chain] checkout girls and boys.
5. ‘Why don’t you join a group?’
   It’s a common misconception for people to think you aren’t making local friends because you just don’t have enough hobbies.
6. ‘Do you plan to stay in [insert country] for the long term?’
   What is long term? Ten years? Forever? Surely only accountants plan that far ahead.
7. ‘You’ll want to come home eventually.’
   Maybe I’ll want to move to Patagonia and take up hiking in 10 years’ time…