‘I’m going to see a counsellor,’ Tom confided over dinner at Avenue.
‘Why are you seeing a counsellor?’ I asked, thinking of the couple therapy sessions with Hot Danish which were followed by a fleeting engagement and a Hollywood romcom-style break-up.
‘A good friend of mine advised me to see a therapist because I’m scared of getting close to a girl and it might be related to my childhood experience of my parents’ relationship.’
‘I don’t believe in therapy and I certainly don’t believe we’re trapped by our past,’ I said.
‘The problem is that I talk myself out of things before they’ve even started, which is strange because I’m not like that when it comes to work.’
‘A lot of guys can commit to work but not to a woman. Perhaps it’s because work is easier to control,’ I ventured. Tom laughed.
‘I think a drink, a chat and a laugh with friends is much more productive,’ I said as I reached for the bottle of chablis.
‘How did your therapy session go?’ I asked Tom a week later.
‘It took 90 minutes to get there, 90 minutes back and I was there for an hour.’
‘And what did she say?’
‘That my competitive, driven nature is related to my childhood – it’s great for business but I can get touchy when I’m criticised.’
‘Who doesn’t get touchy about being criticised,’ I said. ‘And it’s all in the way someone does it. Either you want someone to be their best or you’re putting them down. The latter simply isn’t nice.’
‘Yes, very true.’
‘The thing is that you’re perfectly fine just the way you are, Tom. Finding the right person is pot luck; and keeping that person is hard work.’
