As soon as I woke up I started feeling anxious. Tom had been doing all the right things to suggest he was into me, but I had a feeling it was all a charade. That evening over dinner at Pizza East Portobello, I delicately brought a few things up, ‘It doesn’t come naturally to some guys to pay a girl a compliment.’ He said he’d taken note. Then I mentioned that he seemed to have romantic ideals but had made a point of mentioning something that indicated he didn’t see a future with me. He said he’d been drunk, I was over-analysing and then fell silent and looked away. The next day he was sick; he put it down to getting caught in the rain while training in preparation for a forthcoming triathlon.

‘Sorry WLG – I don’t want to see you anymore.’ Tom didn’t say this to me in person or even over the phone. The message arrived as a cursory text at midday on Bank Holiday Monday. I pushed him for an explanation. He finally responded with, ‘I’m not ready for a heavy relationship.’
‘You need to grow some balls and learn to have fun with a girl,’ I replied.

I had to quickly find a replacement for the planned trip to Beirut. None of the girls could go. I asked Plan B. ‘See what the tennis player says. I would like to help you out, but I have to be honest; despite enjoying our newfound friendship, I think I would end up trying it on for old times’ sake. You know, the heat, sunshine and luxury might go to my head.’ The tennis player wanted to join me but he wouldn’t know his tournament schedule until next week…

In the meantime I wasn’t sure what to tell Dominic, who had introduced me to Tom and regularly asked for an update. Tom might tick all the boxes as a cool, accomplished and popular-with-the-women guy’s friend, but some men are single for a reason. These are a few of the warning signs (which bear absolutely no relation to my experience with Tom)…

• He’s completed more than two marathons/an ironman triathlon – he’s probably making up for lack of exercise in the bedroom. Forget passionate sex in the middle of the night/first thing in the morning; it’ll be once before important sleep time (all that training is bloody tiring).
• If he mentions that he ‘couldn’t get rid of the previous girl’ – he was likely to have play-acted the attentive boyfriend from day one, made a few grand gestures, suggested holidays in the future and then blanked her after a month. It’s unlikely she was a complete psycho like he made out.
• He’s ‘never found the right girl’ – his ideal woman check-list is twice the length of your ideal man check-list.
• He’s very accomplished/has lots of interests – you might be good-looking, independent and intelligent, but what’s your USP? Dating him will be one long interview process.
• If you meet his parents within the first month his parents have questioned his sexuality so this is his way of telling them he’s not gay.