How do we meet someone special? Having previously described Tinder as ‘such an incompetent tool’ and modern dating culture as ‘cynical and bleak,’ my Australian musician friend, John, picked up our discussion after my return to London. ‘I don’t think people are acting as special as they are. We look around and see that we haven’t met anyone special enough, but in truth it’s just that we’re just not being that honest. And to still be honest and engaged as you go through life requires a very special person.’ I liked his provocative idea. ‘When we were younger, it was easy to find that warmth and electricity with someone because we weren’t burdened with all the mental and social noise that we can so easily be affected by,’ he continued. ‘But I also think we’re a lot choosier too, which is also a good thing. What are your thoughts?’
Mine was a less challenging thought: that the biggest difference between now and our youth is that we just had more free time when we were younger. Meaningful relationships take time to develop… Yes, we’re choosier since moving away from more traditional roles, which has improved the lot for both sexes while our friends have moved into the role of family.
Meanwhile I’d noticed that Laura, whom I hadn’t been in touch with for a while, had posted an Elizabeth Gilbert quote and mentioned reading Eat, Pray, Love on Facebook. Something was definitely up.
Laura was newly single, a state she hadn’t experienced since her teens. ‘I’m excited but I also have bouts of anger and depression which I usually take out on the ex. Any advice? You seem to enjoy the single life.’ My advice was simple: just try it. I realised that it hadn’t been intentional but I’ve been single long after my break-up blues. It’s not just liberating and drama-free; being single is a lot of fun.