My friend Monique has a problem: the Dutch guy, whom I introduced her to, is expecting to stay with her when he comes to visit her in London. After she’d suggested he book a hotel, he’d replied that he would like to stay at her place but that, if things didn’t work out between them, he would move to a hotel. Monique wasn’t sure if he was being urgently lustful or just plain stingy. ‘My Italian colleague says that I should simply say that, at this stage, I’d feel more comfortable if he stayed in a hotel. My Scottish colleague, who was married to a Dutchman and has lived in the Netherlands, said I shouldn’t read anything into it. She said the Dutch are very direct and that it’s just a means of getting to know someone.’

I thought he was being a typical man of any age or nationality – trying his luck… It was a less subtle line among the many we’ve all heard before, from ‘I’ve missed the last train’ to ‘Why don’t you come in for a coffee?’

The same Scottish colleague has also advised Monique to offer to split the bill when they dine out and not to be offended if he then accepts the offer.

While out running with my neighbour (Hot Danish is very pleased I am spending more time with her), we discussed the cultural differences between dating English and Dutch men. ‘It’s great that things are more equal between men and women here,’ I said. ‘But I guess I like being treated like a princess.’
‘I think all women do,’ my neighbour said. ‘Some women are just not used to it.’ Fortunately Monique is. I’m just not sure if the introduction was a good idea…