West London Girl

A word or two of advice

June
17

‘I’m not saying the first or second date but don’t wait until six or eight dates'

Being single for a year is like joining the ranks of the long-term unemployed: Your previous track record starts to lose credibility, while friends and family start wondering if they can help you out of the situation before it turns into a life of despondency.

Unbeknown to me, The Gentleman had consulted a wise female friend who he considers successful in her romantic life. She proffered perhaps the most amusing and original advice I’ve received so far. ‘She suggested coming across to the date sooner.’ I wasn’t quite sure what he meant, so he continued; ‘I’m not saying the first or second date but don’t wait until six or eight dates.’ Her message was becoming clear. ‘Don’t make him work so hard and prove himself worthy because with each date he becomes more and more intimidated by the shadow of your past. Getting naked and getting together is a great leveller and allows him to feel equal to you sooner – there is nothing more bonding and democratising than the intimate act.’ Interesting. ‘But don’t give it away or make it easy,’ he quickly added. There was also something about not worrying about getting it wrong as it helps to recognise the real heroes out there. Hmm.

Over drinks at Prince Bonaparte, a couple of friends said they were sure I’d mentioned wanting a rich man. One made it clear she was referring to her own experience when telling me she met her now-fiancé at a point when she thought badly of men, so wasn’t in the right space. They got together a year later. I was tipsy and the conversation got heated (admittedly I got on my soap box). I asked her and her fiancé how long their longest relationships had lasted. It turns out that my longest relationship is the same time as theirs combined.

I caught up with one friend over Skype who has travelled to another continent in the pursuit of romance and we laughed as she told me about her friend in Sydney who has discovered that her unopened packet of condoms has passed its sell-by-date.

Later, over dinner at Monique’s we caught up over the latest date dropping me. Ever the great friend, she simply said, ‘Up your game.’