‘I want to talk about finance with him.’ Hot Danish was planning what to do with his pre-teen nephew, Tom, who was coming to stay for a weekend for the first time. ‘Do you not want him to stay with you again?’ I replied. The following day HD had a new idea, ‘I’m going to take him to the Red Light District.’
‘What will his parents think?’ I asked.
‘His mum suggested I do something with him that he wouldn’t normally do with her…’ HD reasoned. ‘Perhaps I should just take him to the zoo?’
‘I used to hate being taken to the zoo when I was a kid – I found it depressing looking at animals in cages. Just do what you like doing – how about a boys’ film?’

The weekend came round. Tom was sweet and polite, and giggled at my attempt at speaking a foreign language. HD took him to the local food market, his office (‘I want to put him off following in my footsteps’) and on his friend’s boat. ‘The boy is bored stiff,’ HD texted an hour into the canal trip.

I soon received a date invite, ‘Would you like to come to Burger King and then see World War Z?’
‘I’ll leave that to you boys. I’m going to make the most of the sunshine and have dinner outside somewhere with Natasha.’
‘But Brad Pitt is in it…’
‘I’m not a fan but thank you for the lovely invite.’

When the boys returned home Monopoly was played and another film watched until Tom almost sleepwalked to his bed. ‘You’d better tuck him in and kiss him good night,’ I said.

I peered round the door and saw HD high-five a smaller hand reaching out of the duvet. HD turned, closed the door and almost sleepwalked to our bed. He was too tired to brush his teeth.