West London Girl

WLG’s five dates and a marriage proposal

January
6

'No pressure, but in approximately 72 hours my month on here is due to expire...'

I threw myself into a week of online dating, which meant five dates in a week. I definitely wasn’t compatible with the first two guys I met (although no real horror stories either). The third, fourth and fifth guys were all interesting and accomplished. There’s one guy I particularly like but I’ve only been on one date with each and from past experience I know things can change a lot until the fourth date…

I’ve learnt a few things from the new world I’ve entered:

  • Profile photos: If the pics show that the guy/woman looks young for his/her age, they are probably 10-year-old pics. I also rule out anyone who has only uploaded one image or black and white photos.
  • Apparently, if someone ticks the ‘very attractive’ box (which I had), it could mean you’re either a trannie or just lying.
  • Read between the lines of any of the ‘ask me later’ boxes.
  • Too long an email: needy; too short and impersonal: it’s probably been sent to 100 others.
  • Other email no-nos: ‘Good god… Will you marry me’; ‘No pressure, but in approximately 72 hours my month on here is due to expire’; ‘I would adore to be getting you breakfast in bed’. (I’ve also been sent a few emails which were erased from the server before I could view them.) If you’re not interested, the only thing you can do is not reply.
  • Ask a little about their work early on just to check that the truth hasn’t been stretched and you both have compatible attitudes.
  • Don’t spend too much time emailing back and forth. You can sense if the person is normal-ish early on but you’ll only really know if you connect when you meet him/her.
  • Keep the first date short so you don’t waste too much time with someone you soon realise you have nothing in common with; a drink after work is ideal (you can say you’re meeting a friend for dinner later on).
  • These are my personal first-date pet-hates: anyone who talks about whether or not they want kids, previous ‘dark periods’, has mapped his life out (and where you’ll fit in), asks you interview-style questions (such as where you see yourself in five/10 years’ time); babbles on about his ex or talks on the phone (unless he lets you know that he will need to take an important call) – basically anyone who hasn’t saved anything for the second date.

In ‘real life’ I’ve been out with a couple of alcoholics, a couple of criminals, someone who lied about his age twice and a guy who had previously been married for 18 years, but had only had sex once a year (and not at all for the last few years), so whether you meet someone through a friend, work or online, I’ve found that my initial suspicions usually turn out to be true.