I found my passport (at the bottom of the recycling bag) an hour after I’d reported it lost to my local police station. The British Consulate cancelled the emergency travel document just in time.

‘Have tons of sex and delicious food and don’t get sick!’ Monique said before I left.
‘Be safe and careful and enjoy the food, the people, and opportunities,’ another good friend said.
‘You must get a feel for the real Thailand outside the five-star hotels,’ Natasha teased.

Some of us buy a Lonely Planet/Fodor’s guidebook to prepare for our travels, while others look forward to some much-needed R‘n’R. ‘I know it’s awfully tacky to book all-inclusive but I don’t want to do anything but lie in the sun for a week,’ one overworked friend said. Whether we like to admit it or not, most of us are latent holidaymaker snobs. We mock those who don’t attempt to get to know the local culture yet we also mock other holidaymakers for their cultural quirks. And no matter how much we plan ahead, things go awry, and we’ve all experienced being ripped off.

A few of my personal holiday faux pas:

• There were lots of giggles every time I arrived at a new hotel during my travels around Jordan – my handbag ‘essentials’, hand sanitizer and loo rolls, were spotted during each hotel’s security check.
• A friend told me that San Francisco would be really warm so I only packed a summer wardrobe. The friend was comparing San Fran to her home city, Edinburgh. In January.
• My friend and I both fell for our guide’s ‘fact’ about Cuba – that the legal age of marriage is 14.
• I’ve repeatedly bought CDs, including during two visits to Sunset Bar & Grill in Istanbul. I am sure that they don’t sell the same music that they play rather than the food, drink and location clouds my judgement.
• When a friend and I were running out of money during a NYC trip we decided to cut our break short rather than downgrade our hotel. We didn’t think to downgrade our suite to a smaller room.
• I’ve missed several flights, my arrival/departure cards (almost my passport) and even run out of money.
• While writing this I’ve discovered (just as Hot Danish said) that when I return the wai gesture (the prayer-like greeting) to the Four Seasons hotel staff, it makes me look ridiculous. I should smile and save my respect for royalty, monks, and immigration officials. I’ll bear that in mind when I ask for my departure card.