WLG gets some clarity during a week of getting unintentionally stoned and suffering a god-awful hangover

Posted on 12/07/10

On her journey up to the Snoop Dogg gig at Shepherd’s Bush Empire, my friend Kate asked about dress code and handbag choice. Hmm, yes, I did get about five drinks thrown in my direction at the Jay Z gig in Hyde Park and was rather concerned about my Temperley top and Mulberry Bayswater bag. But it turned out her boyfriend was concerned about her safety. Are you kidding? With all the spliffs being smoked, our only concern would be getting stoned. As much as my friend, Liz, and I had tried to avoid the pot smokers at Jay Z’s gig (which was as good as the last time I saw him perform two years ago) I managed to leave my keys in the front door overnight and my friend suffered vivid visions of faces she’d seen that day while she was getting ready for bed.

And was there trouble at the Snoop Dogg gig? Yes – Kate dropped a pint of cider over my Christian Louboutin espadrilles. We managed to get to the front, hanging out with some south Londoners during the two-hour wait. Even DJ Tim Westwood starting texting during his set (was he bored or maybe he’d stumbled into Snoop’s hooker den before coming on stage, as my friend suggested). ‘Is that Bez [from Happy Mondays]?’ Kate asked half-way through the gig. Damon Albarn had joined Snoop for one song, looking worse for wear. Kate looked forlorn, ‘I used to really fancy him’.

When I managed to get my American Apparel top back on after an hour of shivering in bed the following hot sunny morning, I suddenly realised that the ex, Alex, had started sending late night texts and wanting to see me, not because he was worried about ‘us moving on’, but because he was moving on. With a throbbing head I texted Alex, ‘What’s my mother*** name? [a Snoop Dogg lyric; after all, he had bought the tickets] Do you love Claire [the new girlf]?’ He texted back my nickname.
‘You didn’t answer my question?’
‘I don’t know how to answer that’.
That night, I sent him a late night text, one of Ludacris’ lyrics, ‘I put up with more s**t than a colostomy bag’.